How should you deal with conflicts as a daughter of Christ?
Scenario:You and your best friend got into a big fight because you went to another friends’ house instead of hers. You and your best friend were planning this for a month, but you chose to go to the other friend’s house because she was here for a holiday. Your best friend cried and yelled at you yesterday, and you got hurt and angry. Now, she wants to talk to you? What do you do?
Giving in; You give in. “I don’t care that much have it your way.” You should give in if you know that you did something wrong or if you care about the other person more. You’re not simply giving in because you know you were at fault, but also because you feel guilty and sorry for what you did. You were both planning this for a long time. Maybe it hurt her that you didn’t tell her that you were going to another friend’s house. She probably felt like you didn’t care much about her. At the same time, she shouldn’t have been forcing, and screaming at you, because it did no good to the relationship. You got hurt, and it was probably also painful for her to scream at you. Accept it! Talk to her and say sorry. “I’m sorry that I put my plans over both of our original plan. Please forgive me.” Even if everything wasn’t your fault (What was your part of the conflict?), you should say sorry if you know that you did something wrong. Don’t punish them by avoiding them, or excluding them, that’s the same thing as pushing God out of your way. Check your heart. Maybe you are being cold to her. You have the power to be reconciled with your friend. Remember that both of you have to know that this incident isn’t to be dwelled on, that once forgiven, no harsh feelings need remain. Forgiveness is hard, but by praying, and reading the Bible, it is absolutely possible. Problem Solving; We both win. “Two heads are better than one.”
You should use the problem solving technique if you feel strongly about this issue, and if you think the other person is important to you. She’s your best friend after all! No matter how much you fight with her, you still love her deep inside. She probably feels bad about screaming at you, and you don’t want her to think that you love her less. Talk to her later! She also wants to solve this problem too! She may begin by apologizing, or you even may. As long as you both let out your feelings, understand each other, and apologize with manners. You both don’t want this problem to be hanging around, get it over with problem solving. In this way, you both can be satisfied about the problem, and resolution.
The two ways of how you can make up with your friend is “you working it out.” Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. God tells us to solve conflict through him, and forgive one another just like he forgave us. He doesn’t want us to be bitter towards one another, but instead he wants us to have tender hearts and love one another. Most of the time we would rather not solve the conflict, but God tells us to solve conflict with love and patience.